Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in blacks3ven's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
6:34 pm	posting again cuz my last one "wasnt showing my feelings" haha well, as of now ive had a lot of feelings and stuff going through my head... way too much to explain but wth why not give it a shot. im quite stressed and pissed off about my dad cheating on my mom cuz for one... to me, i no longer have a dad and for two... we need to move and my moms taking her sweet ass time and its PISSING ME OFF! another thing thats making me a nervous wreck is girls and all that good fun stuff... they all seem so indecisive and fickle.. its hard to know how theyre gunna be the next day let alone the next year if it was a relationship. seems like no-a-days everyone changes so fast *cough* kristen *cough* where they change from prep to punker or goth or freak or emo or w/e the fuck else these kids are doing. seems like a lot of my "good friends" are turning into assholes too which sucks cuz im the type of person that actually cares about my friends and it hurts as if my friends and i are dating and we're at odd ends. Yes i feel that same way with guys and if u wanna take that the gay way, shove it up ur ass. anyways... it just kinda sux when u care about ur friends and theyre "fake" or at least seem fake. I dunno, maybe im just goin through those faises where it seems like everyones out to get you. Hmmm...... speaking of gf's, my ex wont leave me the fuck alone- directly or indirectly. She keeps calling me and shit complaing about shit... asking me how i am and it pisses me off. I wasted 2 years of my life with that whore and now i get to waste more time trying to get her to leave me the fuck alone. THEN on top of that... other people bring her up constantly and its getting annoying. I enjoy talking to this girl named Lauren Jagd and every damn time when people ask what im doing and im talking to her on the phone or something theyre like......... YOURE EX?! NO PEOPLE NO! geez... get the hint, if i was talking to my ex i would say i am... there ARE other people with the same damn name. Unfortunatly the person i like talking to has the same name as "the bitch." whaaat else..... i dunno, ill update later. Current Mood: bitchy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
5:43 pm	I havnt done this in a while So i figured id just post one entry from like the last uhhh? couple months... Hmmm... what happened.....uhhhh, oh! we're moving! how many fucking times am i gunna say that before i move? i swear i wish things happened when i wanted them to. Um, we went to look at this house up in alpine. its pretty nice, nice pool and stuff but its not that huge but oh well... its only me and my mom since my dads a queer ass fagget cheating son of a bitch asshole that needs to have his dick shoved up his own... annnnnyways... nothing really too exciting has happened between now and then. hmmm, i get my licence in 3 weeks! thank God cuz im tired of sitting all alone at school cuz i dont have any freshman or sophmore friends cuz im a loser like that and all my friends drive or get picked up ON TIME unlike me. hmmm what else, nothing really... ill update later. L8 Current Mood: :o\ (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 7th, 2005
2:38 am	bad day gone worse... so pretty much the party was cancelled but it was moved up 3 weeks. so it'll be the 27th of this month. ever get that feeling where it seems like life would be so perfect laying next to that "someone" not doing anything? just laying there staring at the stars... i just couldnt get bord of it with her :o\ i dunno what else to put.. goodnight Current Mood: depressed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
2:20 pm	So far today... i got up at 9am... not 8 like i was spose to.. got ready and went to grossmont cuz my mom wanted to. that mall sux ass so we went to parkway where by then i was frustrated and annoyed from all the fuckin STUPID people there are in this world of ours. Mexicans that bring their whole fuckin family to go shopping and wanna stop in the middle of the damn isle and bitches that wanna wear towels on their heads. This is America bitches, learn to addapt or go back to ur own god damn country! ugh. i learned today that i tend to take my anger out while driving... my mom tells me to get behind this "goldish brown car" so i do... and she yells at me! she said i was spose to get behind the black suv.. im like wtf?! so i have to flip a bitch in this little parking lot on the side of the road and then go into the mall parking lot. then there was this stupid fuck IN THE MIDDLE of the row waiting for a parking spot when there was literally like 10 just 3 or 4 spaces over... over by the parking garage thing theres a road u go by and i was tryin to get out but assholes just kept commin... the speed limit is 15 mph right there but i guess they liked doin 45 so i couldnt go out sooooooo... i put it in low and lit them up all the way to the stop sign. scared the hell outta my mom but hey.. i got out didnt i? people just piss me off! and its like 100 degrees out in elcajon in a car that doesnt have fuckin AC. in the mall my mom wants to walk 2mph and take her time and its just frustrating. as we were leaving some guy yells "ILL BUY UR CAR OFF YOU!!!" i pulled to the side and he ran up.. i was like "its not for sale" and hes like.. well are they hard to find? auto trader or somethin? i was like .. ya u can try that. hes like "alright thx dude" and goes back to him friends and hes like "THATS MY CAR RIGHT THERE!" that kinda made my day a little better considering if i get attention with the condition its in now... i cant wait till i get my 427 in it with all the bodywork and new paintjob and fat ass tires in the back. it has a brand new stage 2 350 but id rather have a beefier motor cuz is a nice car to cruise to shows and shit with. im surprised i didnt see any1 i knew, usually i see a shit load of people at the malls but nope. last time i went to the mall with ryan the girl that works at anchor blue was like "are u still going out with that one blonde girl?" me and ryan were like wth?! haha. Im about to take a nice cold shower cuz im leaving in..... 2 and a half hours... nvm im not about to take a shower haha. http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/?t=archives&date=2003-07-03 my friend just sent that to me, its pretty funny... wow, i swear i have ADD, i starting this like.. an hour ago haha, well im off to take my shower now :o) be back 2morrow Current Mood: aggravated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:53 am	So its 1 am... wow, my 2nd day of having a lj... arnt i special? nothing really happened today. i couldnt sleep for shit last night for certain reasons that i dont wanna post on here cuz that would just ruin all the fun wouldnt it? So, i had to talk to my dad today cuz i needed money for clothes and stuff and suprisingly he said "this is all i have, let me run down to the atm and get u some more." Im guessing the sorry bastard is tryin to buy my love already... oh well, the cheating prick better get use to giving me money cuz he gets to every month after they get devorced. You ever get those feelings where it seems like no1 gives a fuck about u? or everyone that says "i love u...i love ya..." etc is just sayin it to be nice? maybe as if making some1 feel good is seen as some kinda community service... i dunno, maybe im just feeling sorry for myself who knows? maybe it's my insecurities speaking. Someday id like to be a guy that girls look at and instantly think "hes beautiful." it gets old being the "teadybear"- only to be used when needed, then tossed aside until the next exciting or dramatic event. i love my friends but sometimes i think i care for them more than they care for me. Maybe im just annoying? boring? I see my friends, ryan mauzy for instance... being flooded by good looking girls yet when u take a closer look, 90% of them dont have a personality in site. So if happened to lose 8736 pounds... got the whole 6pack thing... switched faces with brad pitt... basically constucted a whole new me... i wouldnt be thrown around like a teadybear. but then again, all the attention id be getting would be from snobby stuck up drama queens LIKE OHHHH MY GODDDDDDD. on the other hand i can gain 5 pounds and be a nice innocent harmless whale (unless i rolled on u or somethin...BUT... i dont think whales can roll over so i think we're in luck!) id get no attention but at least id get the satisfaction of being able to help my friends. like bart simposon always said "youre damned if u do and youre damned if you dont." My whole aim as of now though is i wanna be in the top 5 bracket of strongest in the school by sr year. im stronger than most my age but thanks to being 10000 pounds over w8, i have no def. wuts so even which doesnt help me at all except for football. speaking of sports... im dreading the start of the school year cuz i get to be in freshman PE cuz the school is too damn dumb to put me in it... uhhh FRESHMAN YEAR! i dont care at all about the running..the gay games etc... what im freakin out about is those gay ass shorts they make u wear! i havnt worn shorts 1 time in highschool... now i get to wear these thin ass polyester shorts that suck to ur package while running against the wind. AWSOME! im hoping i can buy my own damn pair of shorts and have a steele canyon thing put on cuz im not feelin the whole shorts blowin all over the place thing. hmmm.. lets see what else is on my mind... or wut else can i complain about....OH... so a while back we sold all our extra cars... and one of the cars (the 66 stang) was put in our shop in the back to be restored... leaving only my nova... the suburban and the blazer. nova being mine.. suburban..my dads.. blazer.. my moms. GOOD NEWS! a few months b4 all this my mom was rear ended. the insurance "totaled" the blazer but my mom wanted to keep it (cuz she liked it and its a rare truck....fully convertable ) soooooo, we fixed it all up and stuff and in order to get it back on the road u have to take it to get inspected (cuz it has a "totaled" title on it) during inspection.. the cops called up and said... youre truck is stolen... it was stolen back in 1988... we have to keep it and return it to the owner... WELL THANKS A LOT ASSHOLES, take the truck after we just spent thousands of dollars on it! heres the thing... we bought it in 1994 (uhh.. 6 years after it was stolen) we paid for the damn thing... spent thousands of dollars on it for painjob....new motor... headers running 2.5" - 3" with thrusters.. lift kit... new tires.. etc! and the faggots wanna take it away leaving us with not a red cent. heres the thing... the only thing that was stolen on that car was the frame itself... the people we bought it from got the frame out of a junkyard and restored the fuckin truck... then sold it to us. the point is... this is only leaving my car and the suburban so guess what... my car is getting miles put on it making the value go down since its a muscle car. adding to the problem.. my mom is a paranoid driving taking all the back roads (more miles!) and most of which are 25mph (loading it up). well.. theres a lot more on my mind but i choose not to talk about it cuz some of the people its about may read this so ya... im goin to sleep cuz i gotta get up at 8. goodnight Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 5th, 2005
3:02 pm	hmm so im a tad bit behind, and ive never owned a journal yet alone posted it on the internet but wth... what to say what to say...... well, i was spose to go shopping today and on the way home stop by the beach for my friends bonfire but guess wut... NOPE. so i have to get up early tomorrow to go shopping and then im off to a hotel party till 2morrow morning- i hope it will be fun. my parents are getting devorced cuz my dads a cheating prick and ya, im not gunna go into that but my mom went to see her lawer today but i dunno what all happened cuz she hasnt talked to me bout it yet. Sunday after i get home and shower up, my mom and i are off to look at a house up in alpine... i really like it and its pretty huge compared to my current house or any house ive lived in for that matter. it has 4 bedrooms, 3 fireplaces, pool, jacuzzi etc... nothing special to a lot of people in alpine cuz theyre use to houses like this one or better... but i dont really care, i like it :o) its just gunna be me and my mom so its plenty big considering its almost 3000 sq ft. thats like... 3x bigger than my house now but then again it cost 3x more than my house now too haha. it pisses me off what my dad did to my mom and i but what can i do? i guess its a perfect lesson of what NOT to be when i get older. I dont see the point in cheating therefore i never will cuz all it does is hurt loved ones.. but then again, we obviously wernt too "loved" if he did that shit. i literally havnt been outta the house in 3 days and im goin insane but theres nothing to effin do! my friends all have jobs which sux cuz it kills my week days too. it'll be nice to get out this weekend and hopfully have some fun with my friends. the other day i decided my avg workout rutine(how ever u spell it) was getting boring... 4 sets of 10 bench (w8 varries) 4 sets of 10 curl (w8 also varried) then declined pushups... 40 reps of traps and that was about it... sooooooooooo i got the brilliant idea to put w8s on the foot thingies and use it as a row and skull crusher machine and it works pretty damn good haha (i feel so mexican) but hey, wth... its intertaining and beats the boring old workout until i move into my new house that has a gym in it. i dunno what else to say... bye Current Mood: indescribable (2 Comments |Comment on this)